I have been doing a huge amount of inner work lately and taking great leaps forward in my life, which is wonderful. But I am realizing the enormous importance of our own inner vision for our life and our future in our daily health habits. It is impossible to convey to someone who is calling about problems with their bones, that the problem may actually be in their life force, their vision for the meaning of their life.
But in the wisdom of hindsight I see my own path up to and through ill-health so clearly that I thought I would share some of that here in the hope it helps someone.
Up until menopause, around 50, I was very strong, very healthy, optimistic and already had a lifework of helping women in healing circles. I don’t know what came first, the lowering of my hormonal output, or the dissolution of my relationships. It’s like the chicken and the egg. But I had a series of disappointments and losses in major relationships and I could no longer see my way forward. I no longer had a clear vision of where my life was headed.
Without our own strong vision of the future we fall back on cultural visions. Unfortunately the cultural vision for women ‘of a certain age’ is very undermining and depressing. The common true goals of most of our lives are to help make a difference in the world in some way – after we have moved through bringing up our own families and taking care of our own needs. I suddenly felt that I had nothing to offer that the world needed. A huge error in perception, of course, for anyone. An obvious indication of hormonal and chemical imbalance.
Errors in judgment and financial losses followed and then, naturally, ill health. Fortunately for me, my inner wisdom brought me Candida, Diabetes and Osteoporosis, not one of the quicker and more final diseases. I truly believe that all diseases are a wake-up call, telling us that there are huge changes necessary in our lives. Look how many people who have recovered from major disease, say that they are much better for having lived through it.
So, after a long time in the gloom and pessimism of cultural expectations of getting older and what it would bring, I started to fight back. I decided that just wasn’t good enough for me – I wasn’t going there. I slowly but surely took small steps to creating a new life, a useful life.
Now I’m committed to being the best that I can be in this lifetime – and time is marching on, so I am determined to get on with it. My diabetes is under control, my health has improved rapidly, and now I am going to work on gaining visible muscle and ever-more radiant health. I plan on being the poster-woman for a post-menopausal come-back, without going to the gym for two hours a day.
I’m back into raw foods, learning qigong and having daily adventures into the power and creativity of my mind.
Now I have my life purpose clear and I am moving forward, Spirit will take care of the details. That frees up a huge amount of energy for personal growth. My first goal is visible muscle. Strong muscles are enormously beneficial to older women. Since I’ve never been a fan of exercise, I figure if I can do it, then other women can too. As soon as I get some muscles to show you, I will post a picture.
Blessings, Pam